There was this hot looking guy I had eyes for in my area. He buys recharge card from my mom every evening, on his way back from work. He came to patronize as usual, and I was so happy when he started talking to me. He asked if that was my mom’s shop and all that. Initially, I pretended I wasn’t really into him, but later, I had to let my guard down.
So, he asked if I would accompany him to a friend’s wedding, trust me I did not hesitate to say yes. On this fateful day, he came to pick me at home. We headed out to his friend’s place to pick him, so we would all go to the reception from there.
While he drove, he gisted me about his crazy colleagues who collect phone numbers from random girls in the banking hall, and they end up not calling them because of their busy work schedules and all that. He told me of how this particular girl came to the bank to harass his colleague for standing her up on their first date. Suddenly, from no where, my stomach started rumbling. I thought it wasn’t serious until gas built up in my system. I had to adjust my bumbum, a bit to a side, and prayed that the fart would not make noise, neither should it smell. The fart cooperated , it came gently, and the moving wind quickly nullified the smell.
Seconds later, my stomach rumbled again, and I felt like visiting the toilet. Beads of sweat already formed on my forehead, as I was really feeling pressed. I was no longer enjoying the conversation. My laughter was quickly replaced by a plastic smile. He noticed and asked if I was fine. I told him all was all good. I asked if we were close to his friend’s house. Luckily for me, we got there five minutes later.
By that time, the poo was already at the tip of my anus. Immediately we got to his friend’s place, I asked if i could use the toilet. His friend asked if i wanted to pee or poo. I told him I wanted to pee and he showed me the rest room. I entered and released all the stored poo. After this, I felt comfortable. Then, I flushed the toilet, but my poo decided not to go down. That was the day I knew poop can defy gravity. The more I try to flush, the more the poo rose up. At a point, the poo from the WC begin to spill. I was like ‘kuku kill me now’.
Emmy came to knock and asked if I was fine. I was ashamed and dumbfounded. There was no rag or any piece of clothing in sight in the toilet to clean up the mess. And by that time, the poo had really spilled all over. I opened the toilet door, as Emmy won’t stop knocking. His friend came around when he noticed the incessant knocking from him. I wished the ground opened up. His friend saw this and did not take it lightly.
“But girl, I asked you if you wanted to pee or poo, and you said you wanted to pee,” he said. “The toilet is not good for poop. The plumber is coming to fix it tomorrow. We have been using our neighbor’s flat since last week.”
I was too ashamed to talk. See fine girl with all the fine dress and perfect make up embarrassed like this. Emmy and his friend got to work, see them packing my poo. We had to cancel going for the wedding reception. He drove me to my parents house in silence.
Not only did we not get to be in a relationship, but my mom also suffered for my incident, as he stopped buying recharge cards from her. It wasn’t his fault, I blame the evil vegetable soup I ate the previous night.
Credit Bae’s diary